Sunday, 9 October 2011

Rural road rage

Picture the scene...'s a sunny Friday morning and VK and Archie are happily pootling around some narrow country lanes. We meet a tractor coming in the opposite direction and pull over into a passing place for the tractor to be able to pass; said tractor passes us by and we get a smiley thumbs up from the driver.

Onwards we go until we meet a glossy Porsche Cayenne travelling from the same direction as the tractor. Now the Porsche has just passed a convenient gateway to pull over into on their side of the lane. We wait expectantly for the driver to reverse into it. We're still waiting...female Porsche driver stares blankly at us...I point finger in the direction of the gateway thinking that she hasn't seen it. She still doesn't move and there's no where for me to pull into, so I go on waiting until my patience gives in and I jab my finger in direction of gateway again. No movement. My stubborn streak kicks in and I decide that there's no way I'm going to back down a narrow lane when there's a place just behind her to reverse into. Stand off ensues until White Van Man pulls up behind me.

image source

Eventually she gives in and makes it clear why she was reluctant to reverse: she can't bloody manoeuvre her car! She moves backwards and forwards in a sawing direction going nowhere for a few minutes until she finally backs the Porsche into the gateway. I slowly drive past with my window down ready to put my hand up to grudgingly thank her, when suddenly Mrs. Tweedy Hoity-Toity shouts out that "That old car shouldn't be on the road!"

Bad move.

We stop and I fire my reply at her: "You shouldn't be on the road if it takes you five minutes to reverse your car" and give her the evils. Then off Archie and I pootle, having had the last word and leaving White Van Man bemused.

Arrogant drivers - don't you just hate 'em?

P.S. I should have been driving one of these like the lovely Kenny:


  1. I hate arrogant people full stop.Am glad you said something tho Id be fuming too and Archie is worth a hundered porsches!!! xxx

  2. Nelly, you're so right about Archie. I have more fun driving him than some poncey brand new porsche. He's a gentleman of vintage character.

  3. Archie is a wonderful little motor so bully Porsces moveover!
    Glad you said something.
    Julie xxxxx

  4. Oh for a muddy day too so that you could have sprayed posh porche with mud and smelly muck !HE! HE! Better still if the window was open!!
    Not that I'm really that the chance though!
    Loved the Kenny miss him and his swirly legs!

    Have a Rural Road rage free week!

    Sandie xx

  5. Cheek of her! Glad you got the last word in - well done. x

  6. you have no idea how much I agree with you on that!! I live 3miles down a single track road and It's amazing how many people can't or won't reverse!!! It really p**ses me off! Even worse because I drive a Landy which they think has the powers of levitation to allow them to pass underneath me. One even asked my husband to reverse his motorbike for her?! Duh! Oh I feel a rant coming on..........

  7. Nice last word there, VK! Cheeky cow. Those Cayenne things are awful looking things, she clearly had no taste or road sense. x

  8. What a cheek! Glad you had the last word, i hate drivers like her, there are loads around here who drive big old 4x4's for taking one child to school and they cant drive to save their lives. Scarlett x

  9. Hahaha, brilliant reply! Bet that wiped the smug look off her face. I would much rather drive your Archie than a Porsche.

  10. Ha ha ha! I love the fact she tried to pull rank on you because she has a cocking Porsche and you put her in her place. People are idiots.

  11. A Flash car and they think it gives them priority on the road...I hope she choked on her canapés later

  12. I particularly hate it when women drive like that as it tars us all with the same brush. My favourite accusation is "If you can't drive your husband's / wife's car, you should fecking stay at home.

    I realised that I needed to moderate my road rage though when, having been carved up on a roundabout, a 6 year old Boy the Younger leaned out of the window and shouted "Arsehole!" at the offender. He was quite right though.


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